I dislike this feeling

Sometimes I really wonder how can I tolerate with someone whom I keep asking them out and left rejected with excuses... AM I too boring?tell me please! >.<. Although last time I don't seem to have any problems but now it's really draining my soul... I am really emo about this! 

I know you have your own friends and stuff to do, if we get to hangout just 5 minutes!!!! I also would be happy already! do you get what I mean? I feel so angry and wanted to tell you that! but i restrain to myself and lepas geram to myself here! cause i don't want to hurt your feelings i like when you call me, it tells me that your not busy and wanted to talk to me.. i appreciate it  much.. but I thought you wanted to meet up! I keep my phone real close and don't want to miss a thing but when I answer sometimes I feel disappointed that your going out with other friends.. I ask u since that afternoon and you call me telling me your going out with other friend.. my mood also change from being really happy to hear your voice to become really sad and emo that you wouldn't go out with me...help me to forget this little things away please !!! someone!

I really don't want it to bother me! why is it so much pain??? argh!! I'm so immature! ah!! and being the fact that I gone out with my schoolmates doesnt mean i must keep going out with them wan ma! i still have you as my friend! U dont understand my feelings or you sengaja do this to me wan? really hurt okay!.. summore now ur going chiak hong... and I have sem break! stuck here alone really bothers my mind.. i think a lot okay! ahhh i wish i can stop thinking!.. i really want to spend time with you but your resisting, what should i do? im giving up soon already! I keep telling myself to stop wasting time! but I couldnt, the more you push me away the more I want spend time with you to know weather your alright and stuff..

I dont know who am I anymore!